I have nostalgia for a time that never was. I’ve heard before that’s really all it is; the creation of an absence. It falls over you with one chord in a song or a single glance at a photo, and suddenly you feel that immense longing for another time, another place where everything was simpler, sweeter, full of possibility.
I have this longing, but it’s for a kind of alternative universe. You know those old teen spirit movies from the 90s? She’s All That, Drive Me Crazy, Ten Things I Hate About You - I lived for the day I would finally walk into high school and live out those infamous house parties, joy rides, fabulous grunge outfits, and the first love that defies all social boundaries. In reality, I entered high school when TRL was on the fritz, texting was on the rise, and low-rise was the new acid wash. The dreamy jock never fell for the artsy wallflower (possibly because I went to an all-girls school), no charming announcements were made by a witty student MC over the school’s intercom (well, sometimes).
And so I yearn for what remains an unfulfilled expectation. Barenaked Ladies comes on the radio or a re-run of Dawson’s Creek airs on TV and suddenly my throat throbs in mourning of a yester-year I only ever met in my prepubescent day dreams.
Expectations
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