“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Thy will be done.”
It's like a trust walk.
I led two groups of campers in a trust walk last summer and I've been a part of a few in my time as well. I know what it's like on both sides. Leading can be frustrating and aggravating and participating is usually just as frustrating but also difficult. It is called a trust walk for a reason. It takes trust. Trust the person in front of you. Trust the leader.
Supposedly, God is the leader of this trust walk called my life. That's the plan at least. This thing we call sin is a fancy way of saying "not trusting God." It's like opening your eyes during the walk. We often think of opening our eyes as something really great but in this case, its not so good.
My eyes are closed and I have NO IDEA where He is taking me and I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared. I like control. I really like to know what's going on. My google calendar says it all. I schedule meals. I schedule naps. Everything has its own allotted time slot. That calendar acts as a source of control for me.
My eyes are closed and when I can't feel His hand on me, I freak out and open my eyes...and every trust walk leader is disappointed when she sees a participants eyes flutter open...even if just for a moment.
I know He is leading me somewhere but I don't know where. I have no idea. I can't even guess. There are stops along the way but I don't see one coming for a long time.
Do I really just have to walk?
I've never done that before.
As far back as I can remember, there has always been something I could see coming up.
Now...nothing.
Its like we're walking on a highway. It's dangerous. I want to open my eyes because I think it'd probably be easier for us all, but He just wants me to learn to trust Him. On a highway there are signs, of course, but because my eyes are closed i can't see them--only God can--and though I ask, He just keeps telling me to trust Him.
BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHERE WE'RE GOING!
I don't think you get it.
I think I'm gonna have to get over all that because it doesn't look like its going to change any time soon. I could be wrong (I often am), but it certainly looks like life is a highway.
I'm back to the beginning. Lead me...
Lead me to the cross, where your love poured out, bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down.
Lead me home and I will rest in you.
Father, Lead me, because I can't do this alone.
I totally understand how you are feeling! Before now I've always had a plan...I knew I was going to college after high school, I knew I was going to work hard and graduate college, I knew I was going to find a job, and then I knew that I had a wedding to plan. But now what? I've got all of that done and now I have no idea what's next! Sure I'm working hard at my job, but I don't know where I should go from here. What's next for me? What am I working towards? I sure don't know...but I guess I've just got to trust that He does. It's hard to just keep blindly moving and trust that he's got it under control. But in the mean time I guess We've just got to listen and follow where he leads.
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