Jesus is clever, He must've had a Jesuit education...

So this one time, I went to 9 p.m. mass and it was great. the end.

no. yes. well, it was great. Fr. David Meconi, SJ has this wonderful ability to tap into my emotions and make a hot mess out of my feelings in public settings. During mass I prayed, laughed, cried, cried some more and sang some wonderful songs (achem...Hungry). I was reminded of my insecurities and my deepest fears. I was reminded of love--how desperately I need it and how much it means to me, for me to receive and to give.

Last night, we heard the gospel story talking about turing the other cheek and if he takes your cloak, give him your tunic also and if he demands you go a mile, go two (Matt 5:38-48). Fr. Meconi hashed out the meaning in a way that 99.9% of us had never heard. He explained that Jesus was not saying that if we follow Him people are going to walk all over us and we aren't supposed to do anything about it. No, Jesus knew the culture. When someone backhands you across the face it was read as a sign of elevated authority and when you turn the other cheek, the only way they could continue hitting you would be to punch you but that was considered an act of equality. The idea is that turning the other cheek is not an act of passivity but rather a clever way to stop the cycle of violence. And the other two things offer the same sort of situation. If a guy takes your cloak and you give him your tunic as well, he would get in trouble for exposing your nudity and if a Roman soldier made you do a mile of service but you did two, the soldier would be chided for overworking you. Jesus knew the culture. He was clever. He must've had a Jesuit education--an education involving the culture so His work would be culturally relevant.

Then, in a Meconi-style tangent, Fr. Meconi started talking about the trinity. Three in one, the trinity is totally dependent. In our culture, we have been taught that dependency is not a good thing but that's clearly a lie. The three persons of the trinity are so dependent on one another that if one were to not exist, the other two would be obsolete. One cannot exist without the other two. Dependency leads to holiness, to wholeness. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are called to holiness through relationship. By letting others into our lives, we get closer to this ideal.

Ohmygoodness!!! Fr. Meconi's random Trinitarian tangent seemed to be directed right at me. I've been struggling with the reality of humanity. I've been hurt by a lot of people coming into my life then just peace-ing out when things get tough or uncomfortable and especially by one person seeming to do this recently. People promise they're in for the long haul but then something that they don't know how to handle happens and they run away. I felt like Fr. Meconi was looking straight into my broken heart and asking me to give it another shot. People are always going to disappoint me, I know that, but God never will. If God is the buffer in the center of the dependent relationship, the hurt of the disappointment won't sting so much.

Right now, as I bounce back from the injury of another relationship lost, I must look to the future and all the possibilities for love. My heart will heal.

Love, Emily

P.S. if you read this far, you are amazing. go reward yourself.


"Broken, I run to you, for your arms are open wide..."