Hopeful conflict

There's this "letter to my younger self" someone wrote and it really speaks to my heart right now. I feel like the "younger self"in some ways though I have the intellectual capacity of the "older self"--seems I'm caught awkwardly in between the two. I am hopefully conflicted. 

Earlier this week I gave a talk about conflict to an on-campus group and saw (and was told) that many hearts were moved and my words came at a right time. I spoke with the intention of reframing conflict as a good thing. We are so scared of a friend "getting mad" that we often don't verbalize the things that are bothering us. We are skeptical but do not want to engage the two sides because "well, what if they don't ever become compatible?"

I'm struggling with both.
        Struggle, too, is a good thing.
It means I'm not okay with things the way they are.
It means I have not grown complacent.
It means I'm fighting.
          Struggle is a good thing.
          Conflict is a good thing.

I am HOPEFULLY conflicted.

not the hopelessly conflicted state many find themselves in.

In my struggle, I hope things can change.

And I struggle to really want them to change. 

I'm that little girl who doesn't believe she is beautiful...or loveable...or likeable, but my heart would be broken if someone told me the same about them. I know these things are true about me but I do not believe them--I know it but I do not feel it or see it.

But I have hope that someday I will.