I woke up this morning and got the urge to clean. In the past few weeks, I've been busy and cranky. Therefore, my bedroom has become somewhat of a dumpsite. I walk in, drop my backpack, plug in my computer to charge and crawl onto my bed. If there is a clothing change to occur, , at least one piece of clothing doesn't make it to its proper place. As I sat up in bed this morning, I couldn't help but get flashbacks to the appearance of my room in my parent's house during high school. It wasn't a happy feeling.
Every time I clean, I find things. Obviously I find dust but, more excitingly, I find things I had lost and things I had forgotten about.
Today I found a yellow folder Kelsey (my discipler) gave me a few months ago. In it is one of the most thought provoking and frustrating metaphorical stories I've ever read...
Jesus moves in: giving everything over
One evening I invited Jesus Christ to live with me. It was not an especially spectacular thing, but something very real happened at the center of my life. He came in, turned on the light, built a fire in the hearth, and filled the emptiness with His personal presence. Because I wanted to experience even more of this relationship I said, "Lord, I want you to feel at home in every area of my life. Let me show you around."
The study.
The first place we explored was my study--the room of my mind. It was quite small and had very thick walls. He entered and looked around at the books on the shelves, the magazines on the table, and the pictures on the walls. I became a little uncomfortable. Strangely, I had never felt self conscious about this stuff before, but now that He was there looking at it all. I felt embarrassed. Some of it seemed completely out of place in His presence. And I realized for the first time that much of what stood before me was not good for me. Blushing, I turned to Him and said, "I know that this room needs cleaning, but I don't really know where to start. Will you help me?"
As this process has begun, I have discovered that when my mind is centering more and more upon Christ daily, his purity and power are taking the place of my own impure thoughts. I have found that even my desire to think thoughts that are not pleasing to Him are also decreasing. While I still have quite a way to go, I can honestly say that my thinking is gradually being brought under His control.
The dining room.
After the study, we stepped into the dining room--the room of my appetites and desires. I had spent a lot of time and energy there. Proudly, I said, "This is one of my favorite rooms.. I believe you will be happy with what is served up here!" I set before Him all of my academic and athletic accomplishments and ambitions, as well as my career dreams.
When the 'food' was placed before Him, He said nothing, and did not eat. I asked, "Master, don't you like the meal? Is there a problem?" He answered, "Do you find this diet satisfies your hunger? If you want to be truly filled, set your heart on doing the will of God alone and feed on Me. All you have been preparing for yourself will ultimately leave you feeling empty>"
That was difficult for me to hear. I had convinced myself that one day, I would finally manage to cook up just the right meal that would satisfy my hunger. I sat there stunned, trying to take in His words. Sensing my anxiety, He reached over and put a small piece of bread in my hand. I ate it. The flavor was so rich--just a small bite gave me more energy and contentment than all of the empty calories I had been consuming for years. I found myself at once both full and wanting more.
The living room.
From there we walked into the living room. It was casual, intimate, and comfortable. I loved this room! There was a fireplace, overstuffed chairs, and a big sofa, and a huge entertainment center. JEsus said, "This is a great little spot. We can come here often and just hang out and talk together." I was thrilled. I couldn't think of anything I would rather do than have an uninterrupted time with JEsus. He promised, "I will be here every morning. Meet me here, and we will start each day together."
So morning after morning I would come downstairs to the living room and find Him waiting. He's pull out a book of the Bible, open it, and we would read together. He began to unfold amazing the amazing depth of His love and of His desires for my life. They were the most intimate and insightful times of my life. Little by little, however, under the pressure of more urgent things, the time began to get crowded ot, more hurried and less intimate. I began to miss days now and then. The appointments with Him that I had committed to sometimes slipped my mind.
I remember one morning rushing downstairs, choking down breakfast, on my way to do something critically important (I forget exactly what). I rushed past the living room and noticed the door was open. Curious, I looked in and saw Jesus sitting there, praying for me by the fire. I felt a stinging-guilt flood through me. "I invited Him to live here with me," I thought. "He has been my greatest friend, and here I have been ignoring Him." I stopped, turned, and hesitantly went in. Hanging my head, I said, "Lord, forgive me. Have you been waiting here every morning?"
"Yes," He said. "I want you to remember that I am constantly with you. But, I very genuinely want to spend time with you every morning. Our fellowship together is very important if you are going to walk in My life and follow the directions that I give you. I desire the best for your life, I value our relationship--I love spending time with you." The truth that Jesus really desired my companionship has done more to transform my devotional times with God than any other single fact. Mornings aren't always the best time of day--sometimes I've had to ask if we could meet at night. But I have made it a point to carve out daily time with Him because He loves and treasures that time with me and I am finding that I do too.
The workroom.
Before long, He asked, "Do you have a workroom around here?" Out in the garage I had a small workbench and a few tools I had picked up here and there, but I wasn't doing much with any of it. I took Him out to look it over. "Well, this is quite well furnished. What are you using it to do?" "Well, Lord," I said, "I know it isn't much, but I don't have the time or skills to do much more."
"All right," He said, "let Me have your hands. Now, relax with me and let my Spirit work through you. If He controls your hands and your heart, you can accomplish any assignment I give you." Stepping around behind me and putting His strong hands under mine, He began to work with me. The more I relaxed and trusted His, the more He was able to do through me.
The rec room.
One day He asked if I had a place where I got together with my friends. I was really hoping He wouldn't ask me about that. There were certain associations and activities that I wanted to keep to myself. One evening when I was on my way out with some buddies, He caught my eye and asked, "are you going out?" "Yes," I replied. "Great," He said, "I'd love to come with you." "Well," I answered awkwardly, "I don't think you'd really enjoy where we are going. Let's go out together )just you and me_ tomorrow night. Maybe to a Bible study or church or something, but tonight I have other plans." Jesus replied, "I thought that when you invited me into your home, we were going to do everything together... I just want you to know that I am willing to go with you." "Well," I mumbled, slipping out the door. "let's go someplace together tomorrow night."
That whole evening I was basically miserable. "What was I thinking? I had deliberately left Jesus out of my social life. Didn't I trust Him around my friends? Couldn't He do for them what He had done for me?" When I returned, He was waiting for me. I decided to talk the situation over with Him. "Lord," I said, "all my best times have been with you, It was silly of me to leave you behind. I was miserable the whole time, so now I want us to do everything together." He led me back to the rec room and pulled out His plans for remodeling. Before long, He was comfortably hanging out with my friends. a few of them even invited Him into their homes. He also introduced me to new friends and we had some exciting and meaningful conversations. Powerful music has been ringing throughout the house ever since.
The crawl space.
One day I found Him waiting for me at the door. A concerned look was in His eye. As I entered, He said, "I've noticed a peculiar odor in the house. I think it's coming from under the crawl space under the rug." I immediately knew what He was talking about. There was a crawl space under the floor where I stored several personal things I didn't want anyone to know about. They were dead and rotting leftovers from my former lifestyle that I kept hidden and figured nobody would ever be suspicious about. Occasionally, I'd mess around with a couple of those old habits or nurse some old grudge. I was afraid to admit to anybody that I still dabbled in these things. I tried to make excuses, telling myself that I only visited the crawl space when I had a particularly bad day.
Reluctantly, I went with Him and pulled back the rug to reveal the trap door in the floor. I felt angry. That's the only way I can put it. This was private! I had given Him access to the library, the dining room, the living room, the workroom, and the rec room, and now He was asking for entrance into this little out of the way crawl space that wasn't hurting anybody as far as I could tell. I said to myself, "This is too much. I am not going to give Him the key."
"Well," He said, reading my thoughts, "the things in this space are not healthy for our relationship, it's weakening our fellowship and distancing us from each other." When one cones to know and love Christ, the worst thing that can happen is to experience estrangement from Him, especially when your own sin is the cause. I had to give in. "Wait! I'll give You the key," I said sadly. "But I doubt you'll be able to clean up that mess. I've made a number of futile attempts before. I never had strength to so a very thorough job and it's so dark and musty in there that the stuff grows so fast." "Just give me the key," He said. "Trust me to take care of the crawl space and I will." With trembling fingers I passed the key to Him. He unlocked the door and started cleaning. the process was often uncomfortable, I hated admitting that I had involved Jesus in this filthy, tedious project, but after seeing the joy and satisfaction He received from doing it for me, I've grown to love Him more and more each time I see him working on it.
Title transfer.
A thought came to me. "Lord, is there any chance that you would take over the management of this whole house and operate it for me as You did that crawl space? Would You take responsibility to make my life what it ought to be?" His face lit up as He replied, "I'd love to! I've longed to fill and freely move through every part of your life. But you haven't given me the opportunity."
Dropping to my knees, I said, "Lord, I have been treating You like a guest, when I am really a guest and You the true host. From now on I will be Your servant. Please so with this place whatever You will find best--I trust you." I ran over to the stongbox eagerly signed it over to Him. "Here it is, all that I am and have and forever. Now, You are fully in charge and I will submit to you always."
If you've read all the way to the end, I applaud your patience and admire your attention span. Well done, my friend, well done.
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