Story of my life

Hello friends, would you like to know why I'm packing my bags and going to San Diego for the entire summer with over a hundred people I don't know? Well, listen to this song. Funny thing is that I didn't find this song. No, out of the blue, one of my week 1.5 campers from last summer posted it on my facebook a few hours ago.


P.S. I'm up one more ministry partner!!!! Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Michalik for your gift.

Sing to me.

I can finally see


That you're right there beside me.


I am not my own,


For I have been made new.


Please don't let me go,


I desperately need you.



I am not my own


For I have been made new.


Please don't let me go,


I desperately need you.

This summer, Owl City's Meteor Shower (lyrics above) was played each week during our Tuesday night sin drama. (I'm not entirely sure if you will be able to use this like to watch a video of the show, but it is worth a try.) As I watched my fellow staff members act out breaking free from the chains of sin by surrendering them to Christ, I was reminded of how much these words describe my life. I desperately need Christ. I am nothing without Him. Week after week, the words of this song hit me hard--like a cannon ball exploding on the ground. Week after week, the lights in the auditorium would turn back on and my campers would see me in tears. Even now, I get chills whenever I hear those words and find myself in a contemplative state as I read them. 

This song beautifully outlines a Christian approach to everyday life. Coming to daily surrender when we realize we can trust Him. I am disgustingly aware of my issue with control. Daily, I struggle to hand over control of my life. Taking that step to pray "Sacred heart of Jesus, I place my trust in you. Take control today and keep it because I know I will try to take it back" can sometimes take all day, sometimes longer. 

Why are you striving these days?

Why are you trying to earn grace"

Why are you crying?

Let me lift up your face.

Just don't turn away.

Why are you looking for love?

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?

To where will you go, child?

Tell me, where will you run.

To where will you run?

And I'll be by your side,

Wherever you fall,

In the dead of night,

Whenever you call.

and please don't fight

these hands that are holding you.

My hands are holding you.

Look at these hands and my side.

They swallowed the grave on that night 

when I drank the world's sin

So I could carry you in

And give you life.

I want to give you life.

Cause I, I love you.

I want you to know

That I, I love you.

I'll never let you go.

By Your Side (Tenth Avenue North) is the song of my week. My ipod sang this song to me as I finished my run last Sunday and this morning, it was the first song I heard on the radio at work. Listen to the words. It asks you to be still and be loved. This is not a call to passivity but, rather, a call to surrender to redemption. Jesus wants so desperately to love you. He is love. He is perfect love. Stop searching and just be silent. 

If you've been keeping up with my posts, I bet you can guess which line shines brightest for me. No. you're wrong! Right now, the entire song speaks to my heart. I've recently found myself walking away instead of running toward Christ because I am scared. It is the disconnect of my head and my heart what keeps me from trusting the hands that hold me, trusting that they'll never let me go. God is not plagued by human imperfection. Therefore, God does not fall short and disappoint--He is worthy of my trust.

why?

In the past year, I've noticed myself asking 'why?' a lot...a lot. I have questions and most of the time, people have only partial answers. I desperately want to know things and the incompleteness of the answers I often get leads simply to more questions..

I know next to nothing about love and because of that I'm very critical of it. When someone says "I love you," the question "why?" almost always pops into my mind. Until last night, I don't remember ever actually asking the question but for some reason, I had the nerve to ask.

I recieved a simple text message from a friend saying "I love you!" and my response was "Is it rude, mean, inapprop, etc. if I ask you why?" There was part of me that really wantd to know why she loves me and another part that didn't even expect a response to such a strange question. I don't think many people ponder why they love. It just happens, it just is, just because. TERRIBLE ANSWERS!

Her answer just about brought me to tears..."Nope. I love you because you're really awesome to talk with, hang with, and you're just beautiful. I see God glowing in you! And you remind me of me ;)"

Questions are great. They can lead to answers which teach us things we had never known before. They can lead us to more and more questions through which our understanding grows. If we don't ask questions, we risk settling in complaciancy.

Think about this today: pick someone you love and reflect on why...why do you love that person? could that ever change? then tell them you love them.

xoxoxo Emily

God is good.

I know it's been like 2 days since I posted. My apologies for the lack of communication.

I have great news though and I just have to share it. Try to take a guess...my toenails are painted teal?? I tried ironing my shirt w/ a hair straightener because I was too lazy to get my iron out?? it rained today?? I love the color yellow almost more than life itself?

Well, yes, all those things are true and super great but they're not quite what I was going for.

Let me just tell you. I have 4 more wonderful ministry partners!!!!! I checked my mail today like I do every day and found four envelopes with the colorful address sticker that I put on over 100 envelopes a week and a half ago.

Thank you Ashley Kingsbury, Lizzy Van Oss, Corbeill family, and Wiese family.

I just want to take this moment to scream THANK YOU at the top of my lungs so yall can hear it. Your support really means a lot to me. Thank you for believing that this mission is worth supporting. I cannot wait to get to San Diego and let the fun begin. My heart so desperately wants to live on mission.

The support total is now at $535--about 1/8 of my total need for the project. Please pray that more and more people see the enormous worth in sharing the gospel.