Dear people who buy me birthday presents,
REALLY colorful journals.
CLICK THE LINK!
I think yes.
Black defeats the purpose of colorfulness.
I journal like tis my job, so don't you worry that I just started a new one last week.
Love, Emily
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Ham or eggs?
from my go-to source for everything true and totally legit (Urban dictionary)
Tough love: Another version of "being cruel to be kind". To show somebody some tough love today will save them heartache in the future but may cause a small amount of upset for the reciever immediately after the "tough Love" has been dispensed. They would suffer more if you let them get on with their life with no interference from third parties.
I was watching Grey's Anatomy the other day--not a particularly good choice of edifying media, I know--and got this great insight. Ham and eggs. I've gotten assaulted with a lot of tough love in the past few days and this was just another example.
There's a chicken and a pig and we have to decide which we are going to be. Obviously, the chicken gives the eggs and the pig gives the ham. The pig gave everything. The pig sacrificed himself in the most total way possible. The chicken was only willing to sacrifice a little but the pig gave it all.
I'm 114% a chicken...
but I want to be a pig.
I want to be 114% committed. Always.
It is so easy to be a chicken--to give a little and say that's enough, to have one foot in and the other out. It is tempting to settle for mediocrity, to do just enough to get by. And He saw a poor widow putting in two small copper coins. And He said, "Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them. (Luke 21:2-3). Ham and eggs isn't about money (though I suppose that is a way if could be applied).
Here's the deal, chickens don't change the world. I think about the times I have made a difference in people's lives and I see I was a pig in those moments.
Yeah, being a pig can be exhausting.
But being a chicken can be unfulfilling.
I'd rather be tired than unsatisfied.
It's about love. It's about giving your heart. Your whole heart...not holding anything back. When you give your heart, you relinquish control. In fact, you give someone else control.
That's hard.
That's scary.
Yeah, well that's why it means so much and why it is such a big deal. Love is hard and it is scary. Love hurts sometimes but there are people who will swear that love is worth the pain.
Is it really worth the pain?
They call it a broken heart for a reason.
How can we know if it is worth it until we try?
But here's the thing,
I don't think trying is really trying
until you're the pig.
I don't think trying is really trying
until you're the pig.
But when you're the pig, you're all in.
[So it's time to make the choice: ham or eggs?]
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Remembering my SHX
June-August 2010. Best Summer Ever. My SpringHill Experience. So hard but so good.
Call it whatever you want, but know that there is absolutely no way those 10 weeks can be understood that easily. What happened to me at SpringHill happens to a lot of people, but that doesn't make it any less special or any less important. I saw what love and acceptance looked like. I learned what it takes to develop friendships and I learned that sometimes God catapults two people into friendship without all that development. I was taught humility in the most practical ways possible. I could write a novel, an entire book-series, on my SHX and would still feel as though I was leaving things out. Every moment of those 10 weeks was supernaturally infused with meaning and purpose in such a way that I have never experienced before (and may never experience again).
I will swear to you that I had the best campers who came to SpringHill all summer. From the open vulnerability of all my girls on testimony night week 1.1 to a midnight one-on-one week 1.3 to Faith holding my hand all the time and Ellen asking me to pray with her right when I got back from the hospital week 1.4 to watching brokenness be washed away week 1.5 to reading Gigi the book of Phillippians because the bible was her favorite book and Phillippians was her favorite story week 1.6 to understanding a BWE of life during 1.7 and having a really deep one-on-one with Emily as we were tubing 1.8 and even being asked why I was so upset the day I had to leave.
My girls were the best.
There was never a time when I had to put on my law-enforcer pants during shower time or tell them twice that we can't walk back from the lake in towels. In the one week that each girl was at camp, there was a noticeable change.
I remember my one-on-one with Liv (Wednesday 1.7) and how her desire to know God totally flipped around and had exploded by the end of the week. On Wednesday she didn't have time and didn't want to make time for a relationship with God, it just wasn't that important, but by the weekend, she was telling her parents (who told their family friends whose daughter was one of my closest friends on staff) that it was the best week of her life and how it totally changed the way she viewed faith. Liv had immersed herself in the SpringHill experience and let God renew her heart.
I remember getting back to camp from yet another trip to the hospital after yet another asthma attack and walking into the cabin right after the lights had been turned out. Annika siat up and said "You're like a chicken McNugget! We just prayed for you to come home and here you are! You're like fast food!" And as I made my way to my bed, Ellen whispered something to me asking me if we could talk. We sat on the bathroom floor and talked and prayed in the dark as the rest of the cabin was falling asleep. There are so many terribly precious moments with my girls.
Here's why my girls are really the best: they didn't peace out. Today is Faith's birthday and we're going to talk tonight. Ellen sent me a care package and two letters at school. Oh, and Ell and I have skyped and facebook chatted often. Jenni made me a bracelet and wrote me a letter. Stephanie and I did a Philippians bible study and went to mass together when I was home for fall break. Anna Grace and I went shopping and skype to procrastinate. This morning, Cheyenne emailed me about some of her recent struggles asking for help. Greer and Julie always ask me to come over when I am home. I was able to go see Liv play in a volleyball tournament over Christmas break. Paige texted me all the time the week her grandfather was being moved into a nursing home. I've been assaulted by hugs when I show up to Emily and Anna's school masses. I'm telling you, these girls are precious, they came into my life at camp and a lot of them have chosen to stay. I suppose they think I give good advice and am just fun to talk to.
I think my favorite thing about my SHX comes from a camper that wasn't even mine. Her name is Anna Grace and she wasn't even in New Fro (middle school camp center). She was working in the New Fro dining hall with the other TST (high school camp center) kids and happens to be a student at the rival high school of mine. One day as lunch was ending and I was putting my dishes away, she told me to stick my hand in the extra pudding before they threw it away. That's where it all started. I put my hand in the pudding, took it out, and chased her around trying to rub it on her face. For the next week, we smeared some kind of food on each other's faces every time we saw each other (at meals). We never really had a legit heart-to-heart but there was something there because one morning, she came running towards me as I opened to door. She stopped and took my hands and told me she had committed her life to Christ the night before. I didn't really know this girl at all but somehow I had made an impression on her. God had done something great in her heart, and, for some reason, she felt like I was an important person to tell about this. Anna Grace and I have become good friends by skyping and texting often since she left camp. The day before she left, she asked for my phone number and i wrote it on her arm but as it began washing off, she memorized it. By the time she got home and got her phone back, she had committed my number to memory. I was not her counselor. I was not even working in her camp center, but I was what she took from camp.
A SpringHill Experience is like nothing else in the world. Every person's is unique and special.
Call it whatever you want, but know that there is absolutely no way those 10 weeks can be understood that easily. What happened to me at SpringHill happens to a lot of people, but that doesn't make it any less special or any less important. I saw what love and acceptance looked like. I learned what it takes to develop friendships and I learned that sometimes God catapults two people into friendship without all that development. I was taught humility in the most practical ways possible. I could write a novel, an entire book-series, on my SHX and would still feel as though I was leaving things out. Every moment of those 10 weeks was supernaturally infused with meaning and purpose in such a way that I have never experienced before (and may never experience again).
I will swear to you that I had the best campers who came to SpringHill all summer. From the open vulnerability of all my girls on testimony night week 1.1 to a midnight one-on-one week 1.3 to Faith holding my hand all the time and Ellen asking me to pray with her right when I got back from the hospital week 1.4 to watching brokenness be washed away week 1.5 to reading Gigi the book of Phillippians because the bible was her favorite book and Phillippians was her favorite story week 1.6 to understanding a BWE of life during 1.7 and having a really deep one-on-one with Emily as we were tubing 1.8 and even being asked why I was so upset the day I had to leave.
My girls were the best.
There was never a time when I had to put on my law-enforcer pants during shower time or tell them twice that we can't walk back from the lake in towels. In the one week that each girl was at camp, there was a noticeable change.
I remember my one-on-one with Liv (Wednesday 1.7) and how her desire to know God totally flipped around and had exploded by the end of the week. On Wednesday she didn't have time and didn't want to make time for a relationship with God, it just wasn't that important, but by the weekend, she was telling her parents (who told their family friends whose daughter was one of my closest friends on staff) that it was the best week of her life and how it totally changed the way she viewed faith. Liv had immersed herself in the SpringHill experience and let God renew her heart.
I remember getting back to camp from yet another trip to the hospital after yet another asthma attack and walking into the cabin right after the lights had been turned out. Annika siat up and said "You're like a chicken McNugget! We just prayed for you to come home and here you are! You're like fast food!" And as I made my way to my bed, Ellen whispered something to me asking me if we could talk. We sat on the bathroom floor and talked and prayed in the dark as the rest of the cabin was falling asleep. There are so many terribly precious moments with my girls.
Here's why my girls are really the best: they didn't peace out. Today is Faith's birthday and we're going to talk tonight. Ellen sent me a care package and two letters at school. Oh, and Ell and I have skyped and facebook chatted often. Jenni made me a bracelet and wrote me a letter. Stephanie and I did a Philippians bible study and went to mass together when I was home for fall break. Anna Grace and I went shopping and skype to procrastinate. This morning, Cheyenne emailed me about some of her recent struggles asking for help. Greer and Julie always ask me to come over when I am home. I was able to go see Liv play in a volleyball tournament over Christmas break. Paige texted me all the time the week her grandfather was being moved into a nursing home. I've been assaulted by hugs when I show up to Emily and Anna's school masses. I'm telling you, these girls are precious, they came into my life at camp and a lot of them have chosen to stay. I suppose they think I give good advice and am just fun to talk to.
I think my favorite thing about my SHX comes from a camper that wasn't even mine. Her name is Anna Grace and she wasn't even in New Fro (middle school camp center). She was working in the New Fro dining hall with the other TST (high school camp center) kids and happens to be a student at the rival high school of mine. One day as lunch was ending and I was putting my dishes away, she told me to stick my hand in the extra pudding before they threw it away. That's where it all started. I put my hand in the pudding, took it out, and chased her around trying to rub it on her face. For the next week, we smeared some kind of food on each other's faces every time we saw each other (at meals). We never really had a legit heart-to-heart but there was something there because one morning, she came running towards me as I opened to door. She stopped and took my hands and told me she had committed her life to Christ the night before. I didn't really know this girl at all but somehow I had made an impression on her. God had done something great in her heart, and, for some reason, she felt like I was an important person to tell about this. Anna Grace and I have become good friends by skyping and texting often since she left camp. The day before she left, she asked for my phone number and i wrote it on her arm but as it began washing off, she memorized it. By the time she got home and got her phone back, she had committed my number to memory. I was not her counselor. I was not even working in her camp center, but I was what she took from camp.
A SpringHill Experience is like nothing else in the world. Every person's is unique and special.
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